The Four Bodhisattva Vows

"Assume you're enlightened, then behave like you are"--Fu, our Abbess 

Flower of the Week:

Nigella, or Love-in-the-Mist. They turn from these crazy-looking alien-pods to these beautiful blue flowers.

Buddhist Lesson of the Week:

The Four Bodhisattva Vows

Looking over Kuan-Yin and the shoulder of
Manjushri at Jizo in the front of the zendo

The Four Bodhisattva vows are the most essential promises that someone who is seeking to be a bodhisattva makes to themselves and to the world. We chant them at the end of every dharma talk and class, and during every Full Moon ceremony. For the past month, I have been struggling with these a little bit. I have not really been struggling with their sentiments, but more the fact that we are told and expected to repeat these vows, and I'm not sure how many people actually think about what they're promising to do before they make that vow. To me, a vow means something important; it is a true promise, and claim to hold steadfast to something in this fluxing and unpredictable life. I do not want to vow to do something I don't intend to actually to do. It's interesting that vows are such an integral component of Zen, because of course, Zen believes that change is inevitable and everything is empty. What use is a promise in such a reality? Ultimately, I think that the vow in Zen is important and profound for the exact reason that they accept that inclusively their vow is empty; it is a curious form of bravery and strength, to not hold on to any notion of self or other but accept responsibility nonetheless. Anyways, it's something to think about. As of now, I do repeat these vows; I have spent a lot of time thinking about them and feel at this point that they are important things that I feel comfortable vowing--I truly believe that by practicing these vows I will make the world a better place. Although a lot of them are daunting, and I don't actually believe I will be able to accomplish any of them, I believe that working towards these goals will lead to a fruitful, rewarding, and love-filled life.

Looking at back of zendo at altar with Manjushri
(the Bodhisattva of Wisdom)

1. Beings are numberless, I vow to save them

This ties into the most integral and ultimate practice of a Bodhisattva, which is to continue returning into the cycle of samsara (birth and rebirth) until every being has obtained enlightenment. But practically, it also means to live a life where you help with the immediate suffering of those who I share my planet with, my country with, or who are in my immediate surroundings. It means considering and being compassionate towards all beings, not just humans. It means living with respect of everything around me, and understanding that they have every right to feel as happy and safe as I do.

2. Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them

A delusion is anything that distracts or retracts from the ultimate truth--which can (and is) interpreted a myriad of ways. That is something I respect greatly about Zen, the essential acceptance that the ultimate truth of reality is that there is no ultimate truth, in a sense. Everything is empty, and because of that everything is connected; everything is nothing and yet so, so important. It is the foundation for practicing unbridled compassion and love and for living every moment as it arises, and then letting it go. Anyways, I also like to think about this in the frame of science; Just as Buddhism and all of the great religions and philosophies are attempting to divulge the ultimate reality of the universe, so is science. As someone who feels very passionate about good science, I believe that to be a proper questioning scientist is to also seek to end all of the inexhaustible delusions of our being and our environment through openness and investigation.

3. Dharma gates are boundless, I vow to enter them

Close-up of Manjushri

I tend to the think of dharma gates as opportunities to better practice stillness, compassion, acceptance, understanding, respect, and all of the other important teachings of Buddhism, or the dharma. This, to me, is what being a Buddhist is, and why I can be an Atheist Buddhist. Buddhism has so many wise teachings that apply to just being a decent human being, as is the case with most religions, essentially. It provides a useful framework that enables people to work at being the best person they can be in a tangible way. To think of learning opportunities as "dharma gates," is one such way. If I am confronted with a difficult person or situation, I can stop and assess the situation as a dharma gate; it is a reminder for me to approach the situation calmly, quietly, cautiously, and with compassion and understanding. To sit and then act, instead of react. The world needs more people acting, and less people reacting, in my opinion. 

This can also tie into my passion for being a "lifelong learner"...a dharma gate is an opportunity to learn, to enhance my perception on what it means to be alive and existing. This could mean a deep epiphany, or it could be a cool fact about whales. Whatever is offered to me to learn, I promise to try to learn from it.

4. Buddha's way is unsurpassable, I vow to become it

This is the one I had the most trouble with accepting, I think because at first glance it appears dogmatic. It seems to say "Buddhism is THE way." I mean, I guess, literally, that is what it's saying. But once I considered/remembered that Buddhism is all-encompassing, I began to accept it. Buddha's Way is also Jesus' way, Mohammad's way, Confucius' way, Socrates' way, Gandhi's way, Mother Theresa's way, Eleanor Roosevelt's way, my parents' way, my teachers' way, my way. We are all connected and the same, remember? It is the way in which a being interacts with their world with respect, compassion, and openness. I do aim to live my life in such a way.

The ash bowl in the zendo, where incense is offered. This is the most expensive object in the zendo, and about the size of a beach ball.

Life at the Center:

So, I missed doing this grand-update-style post last week, because my lovely family was here visiting. As such, there's a lot to document, and I'm little overwhelmed by it. I think I'll just talk about whatever pops into my head and not worry about it too much.

Last week we had a guy named Skip come and walk around the garden with us. He actually designed the garden in the early 80s, and it was really interesting listening to him talk about all that he thought about when designing the garden and all that he knew about everything that was in it. Claudia was also able to dig up some photos of the garden in the early days of Green Gulch--there was a photo of Skip 30 years younger and shirtless digging a hole in the garden. A lot of people were shirtless, or at least, they wore significantly less clothes. It was a different time. 

Delphiniums. They're awesome right now.

I also had my first day of being a docent...I actually just ended up following around this guy Justin who was a grounds apprentice last year, and had done the tours a whole bunch. It was good getting a refresher on how everything was done again, especially with some kids actually being there. It was also fun getting to know Justin, who has hung out with us since then and is very funny and interesting.

Last Friday all of the new apprentices went on a field trip to visit four farms in West Marin, mostly around the town of Bolinas. The apprentices from a nearby education-focused farm called Slide Ranch also came with us. It was quite a fun day, if only for the reason that it was our first real excursion into the "real world" since moving here. It was also fascinating how all of the Bolinas farms were within a mile or two of each other, were all organic farms, but were all pretty different. They all had different approaches to water use, dealing with pests, and what they, individually, consider to be "organic" and "local". They all had different passions that they brought to their farming; 2 studied art in college, and I could tell that they approached their farms as an extension of their art. We started at Star Route Farm, which was the most industrial farm of the ones we looked at, but was still charming in its own way. Next we looked at Paradise Valley, which was far more quaint. Something interesting about Paradise Valley was that 98% of the things they use on the farm are sourced either on the farm or from about 5 miles away. Both Star Route and Paradise Valley were a part of an initiative between the local farmers and the Department of Fish and Wildlife to reconstitute the creeks that feed the local farms so that the salmon could safely resume their annual runs up the creeks to reproduce. This initiative cost over $2 million and took 17 years to implicate; the result, essentially, was that both of the farms were given reservoirs to use instead of the creek. This is the first summer that they're actually able to use the reservoirs, and the one at Star Route is already leaking pretty extensively, so I guess we'll just have to see how that all works out.

Jizo statue in the zendo. He is the
Protector of travelers, women, & children

The third farm in the Bolinas area that we looked at was called Gospel Flats, and it was the only farm of the three that had any livestock (they had something like 500-800 chickens, he wasn't sure, and a couple of pigs.) Mickey, the guy who owns and runs the farm, was one of the farmers who had an art degree, and you could easily see it manifested in all of the improvements and upgrades he designed and implemented on his farming instruments. He also only sold his food at a produce stand that was right at the farm, was open 24 hours, and was run entirely by the honor system, which I really admired. The other Bolinas farmers seemed to make their money primarily through selling to restaurants, CSAs, and farmers' markets (same as Green Gulch.) 

We ended the day by checking out Slide Ranch, which was super cute. Slide Ranch is owned by the Nature Conservancy and is partners with the Golden Gate Recreation Area (as is Green Gulch.) They actually don't sell any of their produce, but instead operate their farm solely as a means for educating people (primarily kids) about sustainable farming. Their apprentices are all teachers, and so their apprenticeship looks very different from ours, and has an entirely different focus. I was surprised at how much throughout this day I found it to be a struggle to not bow; I was afraid of this habit manifesting in my life outside of Green Gulch, and it was a little disheartening to see it develop after living here for only a little over a month. I have no desire to be one of those people who goes to live at a zen center and comes away from it bowing to everything---although I know there's no pretense behind it, it would probably be hard for others to be super comfortable with this change in behavior.

Inside the herb circle in the garden. Tree in the center is a Japanese Snow Bell, this shot is in-between two of the quadrants. Each of the quadrants is color coded: a yellow, a white, a pink, and a red.

Last Friday my parents arrived in San Francisco to start their week-long vacation at Stinson Beach, a town about 20 minutes from Green Gulch. My brother Will and his girlfriend Makella were also supposed to arrive Friday afternoon in San Francisco via train from L.A., but due to a series of horrific accidents got delayed for many hours. My parents ended up having to drive down the coast a bit to meet them at a different station, as that was far quicker than waiting for them to arrive in SF by train. I was supposed to stay with them in their little cute house on the beach for both Friday and Saturday night, but instead it turned out to only be for Saturday night. It was still very nice to see all of them. The trip was ostensibly to celebrate my mom's 55th birthday, and so on Saturday night we went out to a nice dinner at this weird restaurant that had excellent locally-sourced food but a queerly informal atmosphere. It was also my first full day actually out in society doing things such as visiting grocery stores and consuming alcohol, so I felt entirely overwhelmed and tired by the time dinner came around. However, I feel that everyone else shared my impression of the restaurant, and it wasn't just my own view.

Bodhidharma, the ancestor that brought
zen (or Chan) to China. Respectfully,
I think he looks like Emperor Palpatine
from Star Wars

Anyways, on Sunday my parents came to participate in the spectacle that is public-day here (a spectacle relative to the other days here, not compared to things that are actually spectacles.) They went to zazen instruction, sat zazen, and then went to the dharma talk. I got to show them around the garden and show-off to them all of my new knowledge on plants, throwing down latin names of flowers left and right. The dharma talk was given by Earthlyn Manuel, who I believe founded Still Breathing Zen Center in Oakland. Her talk was essentially about how it is impossible to make a mistake because every wrong decision or wrong action you make happened exactly as it should have, and there's nothing wrong in that.

On Monday I had another lovely class with Catherine, where we wrote prompted short stories. I don't particularly feel like sharing this one either, although I did like it alright. On a semi-related note, it's amazing for me to notice the completely unbound potential for love that I have. It makes me quite excited and happy.

On Tuesday Makella and Will came to help out on the farm and garden. Will has a real passion for organic farming and left today (!) for a summer spent WWOOFing (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) around Europe, specifically in France, Germany, and Norway. He worked on the farm all day, and Makella came to help us out in the garden. We spent the morning finishing up building gopher cages for and then digging holes for/planting dahlia bulbs. In the afternoon Mak got to partake in our crew meeting, during which I taught a class on the history of flower arranging, which everybody seemed to enjoy alright. Both Will and Mak seemed to enjoy their day here (maybe especially their lunch here, which everybody who visits enjoys immensely.)

The freshly-tended-to fruit trees in front of the boys' yurt

The gardeners got to work with the farmers twice this week, which was fun. On Monday they helped us plant the majority of the dahlias, which was great because we could not have done it without them. On Thursday we all worked on sprucing up some small fruit trees by our yurts, which involved weeding around them, mulching and manuring the beds, and then planting companion plants. The plants Claudia chose to go with the trees were lavender (for bees), lupin (for nitrogen), society garlic (to repel something, I forget), and rose geranium (to also repel something, I think aphids?).

Another Delphinium

There was a nasty stomach bug going around this past week, which luckily I seem to have missed so far, especially considering that everybody else in the garden caught it. Juniper caught it on Wednesday, which meant I got a bonus day flower arranging (yay for me! but boo for Juniper.) People are slowly responding more and more to my arrangements, which is encouraging.

On Saturday we did an all-day sit, which I'll get to in a second, which meant that a lot of us got a comp-day on Friday to make up for us not having one of our days off truly off. That meant I got to spend my family's last night at Stinson with them, which was wonderfully lucky. We went out to a lovely dinner (even though, again, I was so tired I was almost in a hallucinatory state). It really was very special for me to see them and to have them here for a little bit. I know that my parents are reading this, so I'm just going to say thank you for coming out here and seeing me and for always supporting me in what I choose to do with my life, it really means a lot to me to have you guys love me so much.

Front of zendo, looking at Jizo and Tara (female-form of Avalokiteshvara,
the Bodhisattva of Compassion)

On Friday morning I woke up with my family, ate some lovely donuts, and returned to Green Gulch, where we said goodbye. It's nice that we live in a time where communication is so easy, so goodbyes aren't as serious.

Later on Friday I celebrated Miro's 3rd birthday along with most everybody else here. Miro is the son of two of the priests who live here, and he is a super lovely little boy. His babysitter always takes him and his little sister Luca to the garden, and he is super enthusiastic about knowing everything he can about all of the plants in the garden, and can memorize their latin names with no effort. He was super excited for his birthday this year and it was wonderful that everyone in the community was able to share it with him.

After the birthday party a group of us went to Stinson Beach (yes, I was there twice in one day.) It was windy and cold, but that made it special, I think (maybe mostly for the reason that nobody else was really there, on this large and expansive beach.) The water was super cold, and we were all cold in it, but I loved how a bunch of Zen Buddhists approach being in cold water and being uncomfortable--with wonder and fascination and appreciation (and a bit of a caustic undertone about loving it so much, for sure.) That night I returned to play a LOVELY game of Dungeons and Dragons, and it was a good day.

Jizo and Tara at the front of the zendo

Kuan-Yin, the Chinese female-form of Avalokiteshvara. She
greets us as we enter the zendo

Shakyamuni Buddha on back altar, in front of
Manjushri, wearing a robe of clouds

On Saturday (yesterday) we did the all-day sit. All of the new farm and garden apprentices partook in the sitting for the day. We started at our normal morning sit time (5 am) and finished at 6 pm--but there were quite a few breaks. After the first 2 normal periods of zazen we did the odd and ethereal Full Moon ceremony, did our soji like normal, and then really started on the day. During all-day sits we eat breakfast and lunch in the zendo, in a style called oryoki. It's a hyper-ritualized manner of eating, similar to a tea ceremony. There's a particular way for doing every single thing while eating, most particularly how to hold the utensils, where and how the utensils are placed when not in use, the way the food is served, the way it is cleaned up, and how the bowls and utensils are arranged and de-arranged and re-arranged prior to, during, and after eating. It would be far too much for me to write about what all of these steps are, but I think you can google YouTube videos of it, if you're interested. I was sitting in between two very adept and skilled practitioners and priests who did it all pretty quickly, so it was hard for me to copy them. I definitely missed a lot, but I think that's okay and expected, especially you're first time. I had two favorite parts of oryoki: the first was in the beginning, when they are just about to bring the food in,  they do what I can only surmise is a symbolic offering of food to our big Manjushri statue in the zendo--while this food is being served, there is a super fast-paced and dramatic drumming happening, complete with a drop. My second favorite part was at the end of the meal, after we use water to wash our three bowls, we were supposed to keep a little bit of it in there to offer to the beings in the Hungry Ghost realms. I forgot during breakfast, but remembered during lunch. We literally pour a little bit of our cleaning water into a bucket for them (and then drink the rest.)

As far as the actual sitting goes, I honestly found it a bit anti-climatic. It wasn't really that hard, honestly, which sounds super puffed-up of me to claim, but I think it's true. I was kind of hoping more inspiration or insights would come, but none came, which is maybe how it's supposed to be anyways. We're not supposed to go into sitting with the hope of attaining some sort of goal, so I guess it's good that it just happened as it happened, and was nothing special.

All of our knees feel kind of shitty, though, so that's something.

Altar with Manjushri, Shakyamuni Buddha, and Bodhidharma at back of zendo

Book of the Week:

I finally started reading a book for fun again! It's a book that my mom suggested I read a little while ago. It's about a girl living in San Francisco who works as a florist, so you can see why my mom thought I might find it pertinent. It's called "The Language of Flowers" by Vanessa Diffenbaugh. It is fiction, which is honestly a nice break (there's a lot of people here who don't like fiction because apparently they don't like a great time.) The "language of flowers" spoken of in the book is in reference to an actual language established in Victorian England, in which people communicated messages to each other through floral arrangements called "tussy-mussies" or "nosegays". Every flower had some sort of meaning, and because Victorian England was so restricted, this was often the only way in which people could express their emotions to each other. The protagonist of the book has an intimate knowledge of this language and uses it to help the people she builds bouquets for...as well as herself (there's some personal growth in her character guys, rest assured of that.) This book helped inspire the topic for the class that I gave in the garden (The History of Flower Arranging.) I printed out a list for us to keep, and you know, maybe keep in mind when we make arrangements.

Song of the Week:

"No Diggity" by Chet Faker

I keep getting this song stuck in my head, and so I'm going to put it this week. I personally like this Chet Faker cover way better than the original by Blackstreet. I don't really think it's pertinent to the lesson of this week or zen or anything...unless you consider the understanding that everything is Buddha, then this song is Buddha.

Proud male quail perching on a bench

Malaysian Pantun

Today in our class with Doris she had us do an exercise where we wrote poetry (I'm not really sure why, but it was nice.) It follows a format where each line is associated with a number, and the number repeats through the poem, so essentially the poem is just comprised of a changing arrangement of 8 lines. She provided the third line (or the line associated with the number 3) for us ("I do not know"). Other than that, we were free to write what we wanted for the other repeating lines. I kind of like what came out for me, so I'll post that below.

What constitutes

The all-pervading emptiness of love

I do not know

How to feel compassion for nothing

The all-pervading emptiness of love

Seeping into my inner cosmos

How to feel compassion for nothing

What better way is there to live?

Seeping into my inner cosmos

An understanding of nothing

What better way is there to live?

An adoration of emptiness

An understanding of nothing

What constitutes

An adoration of emptiness

I do not know

A bumblebee visiting some spirea

Yellow Yarrow

This crazy poppy growing in front of our yurt